The One Thing We All Need
“To love someone is to learn the song in their heart and sing it to them when they have forgotten.”
A few mornings a week I wake up early, and while the rest of my family is cozy in bed, I join a dear mama friend to run around our neighborhood.
Here’s the thing. I’m not a runner. At least that’s what I’ve told myself for more than twenty years.
Running is hard for me. Really, really hard. And if it wasn’t for my patient, encouraging, take-no-excuses friend waiting for me by her mailbox every morning and running with me, I would still be telling myself the story that I’m not a runner. And my actions (or lack of action) would validate that.
But with her support, I am doing it. Consistently. And now I’m very close to running a 5K without stopping. (No laughing. That has been a big, impossible goal for me.)
Don’t get me wrong, it’s still hard. Really, really hard. But the story I’m telling myself now is very different.
I am going for it. I can do hard things. I actually kind of like it. I’m running!
Here’s the key: I have support.
I have someone who believes in me, even when I don’t believe in myself. Who encourages me to keep running. Someone who is waiting for me to show up. Someone who reminds me of why I’m doing it.
We All Need Support
Five years ago, at a New Year’s goal-setting workshop, the idea that I needed support smacked me upside the head.
Maybe it’s because I grew up as an only child, but I’ve always thought of myself as independent, able to get things done on my own. I rarely asked for help. I was embarrassed to receive it. I didn’t want to put anyone out.
Yet, as I did the workshop exercise and reflected on my accomplishments over the past year, every one of them happened because I had the support of someone else – my husband, my Crossfit coach, my mom, my coworkers, on and on.
It was with this realization still reverberating, that I met my soon-to-be life coach in the lunch line at the workshop and decided I wanted her support as I navigated some big, scary decisions about my career.
I didn’t have to do it alone.
We Aren’t Made to Do Life Alone
Your beautiful dream needs someone believing in you.
That big, scary decision needs someone who says, “you got this.”
Every mile or rep or lap needs someone cheering you on.
You need someone to remind you of that song in your heart when you forget it.
So I ask you. Do you have the support you need? Who is on your team? Are you asking for help? And are you open to receiving it?
Saying you need support is not a weakness. In fact, it’s one of the bravest (and smartest!) things you can do.
But here’s an even bigger question.
Who Are You Supporting?
What are you doing to support the dreams of the people most important to you? Do you even know what they are?
Are you able to put aside your own fears, your own agenda and deeply listen to what they need? And then give it to them?
When we help people see themselves and what they are capable of in a new way, we help them shift their perspective and create new beliefs about themselves.
Dr. John Gottman says honoring your partner’s dreams is one thing you can start doing right now to improve your relationship. He shares this funny story of a man who heard this advice for the first time.
How Can I Support You?
Now here I am, a life and relationship success coach, because people believed in me and supported me.
I went from feeling stuck, burnt out and overwhelmed, to doing the most fulfilling work I can imagine. All because five years ago I got brave and asked for help.
Now I get to be that support for others.
I help people who are ready to step out of their fear and their negative stories about what is possible and go after what they truly want out of life. I get to coach women and men who want to show up as their best selves so they can, in turn, support their partners and their families.
Inspired by the Arne Garborg quote at the top of the page and based on my personal experience I’ve developed my coaching philosophy…
I help you see what’s possible for yourself and remind you of it when you forget.
I believe in you. I whole-heartedly, unconditionally believe in you.
If you are open and ready for that kind of support so you can make your big goals real (even if it’s just to start getting clear on what those goals are!) schedule a complimentary discovery call and we can explore the possibilities.
Hey, if I can become a runner anything is possible!
TAKE ACTION
Ask someone you love about their big dream. Then think about what you can begin doing now to show your support.
What’s an impossible dream you’re working on? How will you get the support you need to make it happen?
Share with us in the comments.
xo, Allison
Originally published on October 3, 2019.