Be In Awe of Yourself
“In your light I learn how to love.”
My baby turns 9 years old today.
When he stands next to me and holds my hand (he still does that!) his head comes up to my shoulder. His gangly legs never stop moving and he usually sports a huge smile, unselfconsciously showing off that awkward mixture of big, baby and missing teeth.
He’s an exuberant soul who makes friends wherever he goes, is brave in unfamiliar situations and doesn’t sweat the small stuff. All things his mama here still has to work on and so admires in him.
I’m just in awe of how my sweet, pudgy baby has grown into a full-on boy and I look forward to seeing who he becomes!
But he isn’t the only one who has grown over these nine years. I’ve been doing my fair share as well.
I like to say that becoming a parent cracks you wide open. I’m not even exactly sure what I mean by that, but that’s how it feels to me.
I guess it’s losing the facade of having it all together, of being in control.
It’s the paradox of feeling heart-exploding love and overwhelming frustration, sometimes at the same time.
It’s going deep to notice the wounds you’ve been hiding and then doing the work to heal them — or at least trying to — so that you can show up for your family.
It’s finding the compassion for your little one, for your partner and most importantly for yourself. And doing it again and again and again.
My little teacher turns nine on Friday and he continues to hold my hand and guide me through the beautiful messiness of motherhood. I look forward to seeing who I become!
I encourage you to marvel at your growth, just as often as you gaze in awe and love at your child. How is parenthood shaping you? What lessons are you (still) learning? What is easy now that once seemed impossible? Who are you becoming?
Take a moment and write your answers down, it’s powerful to see this on paper. Share them in the comments if you would like.
Now pat yourself on the back or give yourself a squeeze. You’re doing great. Keep on shining your light!
xo, Allison
Originally published on July 13, 2018.